A few months ago I was listening to a programme on the local radio, a woman was talking about visiting an orphanage in Siberia. Needless to say it was a touching interview. She talked about the eerie quietness of a place holding so many children, that they had learned not to cry because it went unnoticed. The kids had no toys; she spoke of a staff doing everything possible but failing.

Somebody called the radio station after the interview to ask how they could go about sending toys to the orphanage. To cut a long story short, an appeal was launched by the radio station. They asked people to put a toy or something to stimulate the kid’s minds in a shoe box and take it to the station. Over the weeks I’ve listened to how the boxes have been pouring in, to the point where there were simply too many to send.

Last week I was listening to the radio again when, out of the blue a man called in to say he had a van and offered to take the boxes to Siberia, BUT he had to leave this week. Over the next few days I heard how people rallied to get him visas and permits to pass through the various countries, others offered to help fill the van etc. I remember thinking that there hadn’t been any mention of a co-driver, and what an amazing thing it would be to go along. Imagine dropping everything a couple of weeks before Christmas and driving 15,000 kilometres (9,000 miles) to deliver toys to kids who have nothing.

I had the radio on again on Monday and listened as the van was gradually loaded up. It left at lunchtime and the last thing the driver said was how surprised he was that nobody offered to go with him.

I’ve always thought it must be really sad to think “what if…?” and now I know how it feels.

There’s a psychological theory which explains this type of thing, I think it’s called “bystander intervention theory” or something similar. It’s basically when we (en masse) assume that somebody else will take a required action, but because we are all thinking the same thing nothing happens.

I know by writing this I run the risk of sounding like a do-gooder, which I’m not. If anything I’m pissed off in a really selfish way because I had a chance to do something worthwhile and didn’t. I don’t like knowing how it feels to think “what if..?”