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Going nowhere fast
07.27.05 (10:19 am)   [edit]

Another radio inspired post:


I was just smiling to myself after hearing somebody on the radio talking about a stretched 2CV. What an amazing mental image! Many years ago I had a 2CV, I bought it because lots of friends had one and they all raved over them…I learned later they were lying. For the uninitiated, =http://www.iespana.es/ventila...;h=268&w=400&sz=1 8&tbnid=aOE6Hj0yMCgJ: &tbnh=80&tbnw=120 &hl=en&start=27&a mp;prev=/images%3Fq%3D2cv %2Bdolly%26start%3D20%26s vnum%3D10%26hl%3Den%26lr% 3D%26sa%3DN"2CV’s look like this.


I think they’ve stopped making them now, but for decades their design hadn’t changed. The initial brief (I believe) was to design a cheap car into which you could put two pigs, place a basket of eggs on the front, and drive over a ploughed field without upsetting the pigs or breaking the eggs.


The seats in mine were like deckchairs, or canvas affairs suspended from a metal frame. This made driving any distance uncomfortable because the metal tubing left red welts on the backs of the knees, and eventually cut off the blood supply to the lower legs.  Worse still, for me at least, was that I had to plan my driving routes with military precision. I often went miles out of my way to avoid going up hills. Apart from the fact that the engine was so weak it made driving up an incline embarrassing, as soon as the car started to climb the suspended seats swung backward and I couldn’t reach the pedals.


The gear stick was on the dashboard, but instead of the usual “H” movements to change gear, you had to push and pull the stick in and out. I don’t think I ever did get the hang of that gear stick, but I’m sure it didn’t matter seeing as the car never went fast enough to get out of third gear anyway.


If anybody tells you their car is “great fun”, beware. What they’re really saying is "why should I be the only one around here to look rediculous?"

 


posted by: lindy (reply)
post date: 07.27.05 (4:28 am)

Oh! I miss them! Clearly, I never drove one. We had plenty of them in Germany. But... no one I ever knew talked about them much. Now I see why.



posted by: SusanofPudlin (reply)
post date: 07.27.05 (11:32 am)

What beautiful imagery you have created with your deck chair illustrations! I think it looks like a perfectly splendid car.



posted by: badaunt (reply)
post date: 07.27.05 (5:33 pm)

Hey, that's sort of shaped like a Morris Minor, only fancier!

I don't like the idea of the deck chairs, though. My Morrie's seats were quite comfortable, really, except that the back of the back seat kept falling forward and if I stopped suddenly going downhill anything in the boot flew out and past my head, most memorably a large can of water one time, that almost took my head off.

But I had the same problem with hills. There were some hills in Wellington that, if I didn't get a good run up first, or had to stop halfway, I had to back down, embarrassingly, because the car couldn't make it even in first gear from a stopped position. And I used to get passed by busses and logging trucks even on gentle slopes when I took it on trips.



posted by: Andaloo (reply)
post date: 07.27.05 (8:22 pm)

Reply to: SusanofPudlin
Aha! You see, that's how it all starts.



posted by: Andaloo (reply)
post date: 07.27.05 (8:25 pm)

Reply to: badaunt
Ohhh Morris Minors are a completely different story. They're lovely! Did yours have indicator lights which flip out from the sides of the car?



posted by: badaunt (reply)
post date: 07.27.05 (9:50 pm)

Reply to: Andaloo

Yes, but they didn't work. A friend installed proper indicator lights (required by law, boring old law), and he installed a light inside as well to let me know when they were on. I had a big black switch thing on the dash and a little bulb hanging from a wire under the dash.

This meant that when I turned on the indicator light at night, the inside of the car lit up like a flashing Christmas tree, blinding me. Wonderful effect, but rather dangerous, so I would cover the bulb with my hand, turn on the indicator, and for a moment have both hands off the wheel.

I bet you never knew a Morris Minor could be so exciting.

When I took that car on a very long trip (from Wellington to Dunedin) it took four days, in the middle of winter, and the heating system consisted of a hot water bottle. Stopping at country petrol stations to fill up my hot water bottle was a feature of the trip I remember fondly. Most of the mechanics offered me a hot cup of tea as well, since they had the kettle on, while they tinkered with the engine. "Oooh! A side valve! I haven't seen one of those for ages! Do you want me to remove the spider?"

(The spider stayed.)

Ahh, memories.



posted by: BerlinBear (reply)
post date: 07.28.05 (12:05 pm)

Haha! Great post. I have long been a lover of the 2CV, and I had heard that story about the original brief too (so it *must* be true). I have even driven one, once. It belonged to a friend and it was truly excellent, though it didn't have those canvas deckchairs you mention, but proper (if old and cracked) seats.

One day, one day, I will own my very own 2CV, or "duck" as they're called here in Germany. No one can stop me, it's going to happen. But I won't make the mistake of having it be my only car.

BTW, did you know that 2CV stands for "deux Chevaux vitesse" or two horse power, because the original ones had a 2 horspower motor. Nowadays, i.e. up until they stopped making them, they have a stonking 25 horsepower. :-)

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