I opened the door to see Hope, an English friend, looking more crazed than usual and whimpering “wine, I need a large glass of wine. If you were a real friend you’d find me a cigarette too”.

Hope hasn’t lived here for long, she wants to work but is (like many of us before her) finding it difficult. As a nurse she’d been told she has to register with the Spanish health authority before she can look for work. Fair enough.

After a couple of gulps of wine and half a cigarette she started to tell me what had happened. Somebody had told her she could register as a qualified nurse in an office here in the land of the smiling mule. She found the office and eventually got to talk to the scary woman behind the desk. It needs to be said that Hope doesn’t speak Spanish, but what she lacks in technical knowledge is compensated by technique and enthusiasm. From what she told me the conversation went some thing like this;

“ Hello, I nurse. I want work here. I have papers…um, list?” The scary woman behind the desk said nothing. Hope mimed injecting herself and smiled at the woman. “Nurse”. She slid her papers across the desk, which the woman looked at and slid them back clearly not understanding English. Hope went on, and on, the mimes getting bigger until somebody in the queue behind her offered (in broken English) to help. “At last! Please tell her that I’m a nurse and want to work here.” The scary woman behind the desk looked puzzled and slowly shook her head. “Tell her” said Hope, “all I want is to register in this country as a qualified nurse and can she please help me”. After a brief exchange between the two women Hope was told “no”. “WHAT! I am a European citizen, and as such…”. The woman broke in and said “she can’t help you because this is the Water Board office”.

I filled her wine glass again while she described the events of the rest of her day. She went to another office, queued for hours and went through the whole process again. She filled out numerous papers, signed the dotted line and left the office in search of a friendly ear. “So, are you now registered?” I asked her. “Well yes, I’m registered unemployed”.